Reconciling is a process that helps move us toward a “new normal” over time. Choosing to live in the moment while letting go (moving forward) of the past is a process of reconciliation. Reconciling a relationship can involve coming to a new conclusion or developing a new mindset about a person or relationship idea.
Everyone has relationship expectations. Those expectations are constantly changing as life changes and a relationship further develops. Compromise is necessary in all relationships at some point in time. Concepts of idealism versus reality also vary from person to person. A person high on the idealism scale may sometimes struggle to see the reality of a situation as much as an analytical (reality based) person has difficulty understanding that “what appears to them” as a logical solution, may not be the only solution.
Reconciling is much more difficult when events, situations, actions, and attitudes are not recognized, discussed, or dealt with. Ignoring or excusing our own negative behavior, assuming someone will “get over” it, is an unrealistic expectation. People with whom we have a relationship with may and can choose to move past an incident of negativity. Not taking personal responsibility and changing negative behaviors as we recognize them, can hurt a relationship. We are personally responsible for our actions and attitudes, the way we treat others, and also the way we reconcile past mistakes and disagreements
If we claim to have moved forward from past disagreements and failures, yet intentionally bring up the past in a moment of anger, we do not show love and forgiveness. Holding the past against others, instead of showing forgiveness communicates that we may be holding a grudge, have feelings of bitterness, or harboring resentment. Forgiveness is part of a process of reconciling, it is a process of letting go of the past while working toward a new future.
Reconciling life more readily happens as we acknowledge that we and the people with whom we are in relationships with are not perfect and neither is life. Reconciling is a processing of being brought back to a right place in life. What that right place is, is different for everyone.
Reconciling relationships happens as we acknowledge and amend as necessary. Reconciling life and relationships gives us an opportunity for a “new start” throughout life. We can build and rebuild relationships by establishing new “positive” foundations in that relationship. Reconciling relationships helps us to connect and reconnect with others throughout life.