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  • Bretta Durham

Reconnecting Personally

The sun comes up everyday. Our ability to see it is sometimes hindered. It is the same with relationships and communication. When we struggle to feel connected it may be time to push back the clouds of life and reconnect by reestablishing open communication.

We have many new and different ways we can communicate and connect with one another. The ways we connect, although easier in one respect, can seem less personal. Connections that feel impersonal may cause us to develop feelings that relate to detachment. Technologically speaking, we have made various strides in many areas over the past 100 years. Relationally, some would say we are even more disconnected than in past times. In this “well connected” time period in history more people than in previous times seem to be reporting feelings of isolation and disconnection.

One reason may be that many of our in-person gatherings/meetings have been replaced with “virtual” meetings and short check-ins. Instead of “catching up” in person, we can now “check in” through social media outlets. Connecting virtually has opened many doors in communication and our ability to gain personal knowledge.

In some instances virtually connecting only through social media “looking glasses” outlets adds to feelings of distance in relationships. Feeling “left out” can cause us to further form feelings of rejection. This unintentional merry- go-round of watching but not participating in life together we are all on in some way or another, can be harmful to our relationships.

Virtual communication can save us time and energy. Virtually connecting cannot replace in-person experiences because feelings and emotional connections are not communicated as easily through a device.

The amount of time we spend with one another matters. Fellowship enhances friendship. Friendship is a bond that allows us to feel personally connected. Love is an even deeper level of connectedness that can allow others to see and feel (through our words and actions) just how much we care.

The lists and experiences of ways we share life together are and can be endless. Virtually connecting can be a bridge to keeping in touch but physical time spent together still needs to be a priority in order for us to feel more personally connected.

Family (friends and or relatives) “Sunday” dinners keep us feeling connected. Walks in the park and down memory lane will always help us feel more connected than opportunities of viewing and catching up through photos and social media outlets.

Today is always the best time to start reprioritizing people and relationships. Tomorrow will come soon enough and missed opportunities are not something we can make up or get back.

Time and again we need to make the choice to let go of the day-to-day “urgent” and reprioritize the important (friends and family) in order to feel connected and loved.

A priority of staying personally connected needs to be set and reset throughout life. If family and friendships are important to us, time slots to be together have to be carved out. The busyness of life will continue to change. What doesn’t have to change is the time we prioritize with those whom we have relationships with and even claim to love. We need to be physically present and emotionally engaged in each other’s lives in order to remain personally connected, better.

To learn more visit the website http://www.RealLifeRelationships.orgon the site you will find more information about the book Love Forever and the self-guided course books Loving Others, Loving Yourself, and Reconciling Through Love.


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