Love 'Builds Up' Through Friendship

Have you ever had a friend that you know is a "better friend" than you. This type of friend is someone who seems to always be there no matter what. They are humble, they genuinely do not see themselves, what they have, or what they do as being better than anyone else . We can all be that type of friend, someone who shows love by intentionally building other's up through friendship.

Healthy relationships are ones not based on singlemindedness. If two people are in a relationship, romantic or plutonic, that relationship is best when the people involved focus on us instead of me.

We continue to build each other up in love as we

• Listen to and talk regularly

• Care about shared needs

• Challenge one another

There will always be talkers and listeners. Talking all the time doesn’t allow us to hear what is going on in someone else’s life nor does it allow us to know what is in their heart. Listening to one another takes time and effort. We are all busy, but we should never be too busy to stop and listen to those whom we say we care about.. Talking and listening in a relationship keeps communication open and easy, when we stop communicating we can feel disconnected. Connecting and reconnecting through mutual communication (talking and listening) helps everyone to feel better understood on a personal level.

There are also those who give and those who take. We can all be that person sometimes. Relationships are more mutually supportive, when we give when we can, and accept help when we need it. We should not expect others to provide for us or use people to solely make our lives better. Caring about ourselves and others is a balancing act that can easily become imbalanced when life throws us a curve ball. The effort to rebalance (give and take) is necessary in order to have friends and to be a friend tthroughout life.

Finally, settling for “that’s just the way I am” doesn’t really further develop personal character. Looking back on who we were when we were younger helps us to see if we have settled into status quo, that "who I am and what I do is good enough", rather than striving to become a better person over time. Challenging one another to be a better version than we used to be is a good thing. Personal growth, throughout life, should continue as we learn “better”. Change can be hard. We can better meet people where they are at in life through a willingness to keep growing as a person “who can be”.

Which leads us to growing in grace and learning better to be the friend that someone would want to have. Knowledge sometimes puffs up…love builds up. No one truly cares how much we know until they know how much we care. Throuhgout life we can continue to strive to be a good friend to the people whom we say we love.