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  • Bretta Durham

Love Even Though...


When it comes to love, time is actually on our side. As love is given and received not just in a moment but throughout our lifetime


Loving others conditionally sets people and relationships up for failure. Why? We all make mistakes.


Expecting the best while understanding perfection is an idea to be strived for helps us better to love those with whom we have relationships..


One of the ways we can examine how we love others is to see how we respond when someone appears to be acting in a way we perceive as unlovable. Also it can be hard to have feelings of love toward someone when we don’t agree with thoughts and decisions or feel unloved by them ourselves.


By speaking in and acting in love, when someone is doing something we disagree with or are speaking acting in ways we find offensive, we can combat negative feelings.


A question we ask and have to work through when in long term relationships is, “how do I keep showing love even in difficult times”.


Logically we realize people fail. Emotionally we are hurt by those failures. Once someone makes a choice, that we do not agree with or that hurts us, we equally have to look at choices and make decisions. How do I keep loving this person even though....becomes the challenge to overcome.


A major part of moving forward in a relationship is a decision to love anyway....choosing to act and react with words and actions that convey love.


We can be patient, we can be kind, and we do not have to return rudeness by being rude. All of these actions also help to keep open communication as a possibility.


Working through differences, keeping communication open, engaging purposefully, and establishing or reestablishing the good in a relationship are all ways we start again.


Learning more about the topic of how we give and receive love (love languages/styles), as well as purposefully working to learn how to communicate our love, strengthens relationships. Loving someone according to their personal preferences helps them feel the love we give through words and actions.


Striving to love despite situations and circumstances isn’t a one-time opportunity. Love is a commitment shown through our words and actions over a lifetime.


If you are looking for a gift that helps couples to invest long term, the self-guided course book Loving Others is available. Opening and reopening communication, evaluating priorities, learning how to love one another better, establishing or reestablishing who you are as a couple, and planning toward the future together is another way we learn better how to love anyway.


To learn more about real love visit the website http://www.RealLifeRelationships.org on the site you will find more information about the book Love Forever and the self-guided course books Loving Others, Loving Yourself, and Reconciling Through Love.