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  • Bretta Durham

Reconciling Through Difficulties

Dealing with difficult time periods isn’t ever really “new”. A difficult year can happen to anyone. Collectively as nations, suffering long-term together, thankfully isn’t our day to day normal. Because “atypical” suffering isn’t something dealt with normally on daily basis, difficulties, differences, and division can affect us personally and relationally.

Our connections with one another should remain a priority as they help sustain us emotionally. Relationships, that mean something to us, should also remain far more important than our need for our opinion of being right and standing against others personal beliefs.

Since no one tends to do things exactly the same way, conflict will sometimes happen. We also think differently which in turn means we, collectively, will have different opinions and options in regards to how we deal with difficulties.

In stressful times, giving grace and offering time provides opportunities for everyone to take a moment to “catch their breath”, and process the possibility of a new “normal” on varying levels and in various ways.

A new normal is perceived as something “different” at the very least. A new normal (a previously unknown or not yet experienced way of doing things in life) can impact our relationships positively or negatively.

What we learn over a lifetime and adapt to over time is often more important than what we can process in a day.

Valuing others long-term is also more important than demanding respect and judging someone and their actions in an instant. What I mean by that is, someone can be disrespectful in the moment out of immaturity or even out of ignorance. Personal growth happens as we learn different and better through experiences.

When we “know better “ or even are truly “right”, we may also need to wait for the “best opportunities” to discuss “wrongness”. Difficulties are more likely solved over time than they are during emotional responses. Permanent change also rarely happens instantly, it more likely involves a process.

People and relationships remain long after forgotten hurt feelings and minor disagreements. If we can let go of minor differences, we should. If we can’t say something nice, we may not need to say anything. Complain respectfully and encourage generously.

In its purest, most unconditional, form love isn’t earned, love is freely given. Love always protects, always trust, always perseveres. Love reconciles not because it’s required of us but because unconditional love is what truly is best for all of us.

I am personally thankful love, in its most unconditional form(agape love) never ends.

What if we approach each day as a personal restart. Everyday could begin with a commitment to attempt to listen sincerely, be more understanding, insert and demand personal entitlement less, all while loving each other more. Each of us working to do things to the best of our capabilities.


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